Resources: Seeking to be Faithful Together

1) What are the Guidelines and how did they come about?

“Seeking To Be Faithful Together: Guidelines for Presbyterians During Times of Disagreement” is a response to requests from many Presbyterian congregations which have experienced pain and brokenness resulting from disagreements that were not dealt with in a healthy and productive way. Some of these disagreements were about issues important in our national life (e.g. abortion and human sexuality), while some of them were about matters dealing with the life of the congregation (e.g.should we start a building campaign?).

Every congregation has conflicts. They will either be occasions for divisiveness and harm or they will provide opportunities for growing and learning. The Guidelines may help congregations of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) use conflict in a creative and productive way.

The 204th General Assembly (1992) adopted the Guidelines for its own life and provided this tool to congregations and the other bodies of the Presbyterian Church to help them deal with the inevitable conflicts and disagreements which occur.

2) What is the biblical basis for the Guidelines?

The Bible contains many stories of conflict and offers a great deal of guidance for dealing with disagreements. It is also rich in its description of God’s peacegiving and reconciling work.

God, through Jesus Christ is reconciling the world and gives us the ministry of reconciliation. (II Corinthians 5:17-20)
We are one body. (I Corinthians 10:7)
We are called to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:3)
Make peace with your brother and sister when you have a conflict. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Bless those who persecute you; live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:14-16)
Be kind to one another and forgive on another. (Ephesians 4:13-16)
Listen carefully before you speak. (Proverbs 18:13)
Speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:13-16)
Work for consensus. (Acts 15:1-31)

3) Why should your session and congregation agree to use the Guidelines?

Conflicts and disagreements occur in congregations. Where there are people who care deeply, there is bound to be conflict. The Guidelines offer clear, simple suggestions for dealing with differences, so they become occasions for growing in grace and understanding, not times of divisiveness and separation. Though use of the Guidelines cannot prevent conflict from happening, they might help develop an open, helpful climate where differences are dealt with productively.

4) What are some suggested steps for considering the use of the Guidelines in your congregation?

Leadership…Ask a committee of session or several elders to lead the session in a study of the Guidelines.
Bible Study…Suggest that an adult church school class or Bible study group study the biblical insights on conflict and what to do about it. It would also be useful if the session would have their own similar study.One resource you might use is Behold the New Has Come: Peacemaking in Corinthians (DMS 225-90-202; 75 cents, phone 800-524-2612).
Skill Building Sessions…If the session has not recently used a portion of their meetings for learning skills for dealing with conflict, consider using and adapting this resource. Also consider using this resource in your adult education program.
Study the Guidelines…Ask the session to study the Guidelines by examining each one of them.The session might ask these questions about each Guideline:
How might the use of this Guideline help create a healthy atmosphere for dealing with conflict?
How might the use of this Guideline help deal with an existing conflict?
Would you like to change this Guideline or remove it from the list?
Vote on the Guidelines…The session might vote to use the Guidelines in its own life and to encourage and help members of the congregation make use of them. The session might also wish to overture the presbytery to agree to use the Guidelines for its life together. Ask a committee of the session to help the session and the congregation make use of the Guidelines.
Report to the Presbyterian Peacemaking Program…Please tell the Peacemaking Program if your session agrees to use the Guidelines, about your experience with them, and other efforts to deal with conflict and disagreement.

PDF version of Seeking to be Faithful Together

5) How can our session actually use the Guidelines?

Once your session has agreed to use the Guidelines, there are several ways they might be used:

Encourage all members of the session to take responsibility for using the Guidelines during the meeting.
Urge session members to use the Guidelines and remind others to use them during informal conversations in the congregation.
Read a simple prayer together prior to the start of the session meeting which asks God’s help in dealing with conflict effectively.

One possible prayer:

Gracious and Loving God, You have called us together to do the work of Your church. Be present with us during this meeting, guide us that we may make decisions that will reflect Your loving presence in this world. Create within us open minds and hearts, that we will not fear conflict or run from it, but embrace it, knowing that it is an opportunity for growing in faith and a fuller understanding of Your will for us. Help us to listen to each other, share our thoughts in loving, honest ways and do all we can to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.

Through Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Pray before voting on a matter which has created significant disagreement, reminding all present that some will be happy about the decision and some will be disappointed.
Use the Guidelines in ways which encourage open candid discussion. Discourage using the Guidelines in ways which would stifle the sharing the disagreements and impede session members from sharing their opinions.
Display the Guidelines poster in the rooms where the session and other committees meet.
Review and evaluate the session’s use of the Guidelines each year. Help each new class of the session understand the Guidelines and their use.

6) How can the Guidelines be used in our congregation?

Reproduce the first page of this form and include it in a Sunday bulletin or in your congregation’s newsletter in an effort to give copies to as many members as possible.
Display the Guidelines poster on several of your church’s bulletin boards.
Present the Guidelines to the committees of session, other committees, the choir, Presbyterian Women, Presbyterian Men and the youth fellowships.
Invite members of these groups and other leaders in your congregation to a training session on the Guidelines. Use some of the resources listed on the back page of this brochure in the training session.
Include training on the Guidelines in new member classes and officer training classes.
Ask the worship committee of session to work with the pastor to find ways that the Guidelines might be emphasized in worship.
At a congregational meeting, ask the congregation to decide if they will use the Guidelines.
If a congregation votes to use the Guidelines, consider having an evaluation annually at a congregational meeting on how effectively the congregation has used them. This evaluation might produce suggestions for using them better.

7) Why inform the Presbyterian Peacemaking Program of any actions taken by your session on the Guidelines, as well as your experience and your concerns?

The information received by the Presbyterian Peacemaking Program will help it and perhaps the General Assembly evaluate the Guidelines and their use. This information may lead to the strengthening of this tool and the development of resources which will help congregations use the Guidelines.

The Presbyterian Peacemaking Program will send information about new resources and other assistance to congregations which are using the Guidelines as well as good ideas and suggestions received from other congregations.

The Presbytery of East Tennessee